Parents

Sag Harbor has been one of my favorite book so far and the last discussion was a nice way to end the year for this class. One of the subplots in the book that really stood out to me was Benji’s relationship with his parents and their relationship with each other. They don’t really come up a lot in the book, but when they do it is in ways that affect Benji.

Almost every time Benji’s father talks to him in the book, he is criticizing something Benji is doing, but usually in an indirect way. I don’t know if these are the only times Ben remembers and are therefore all he writes about or if that is actually their entire relationship. One of the times that stands out is when Benji gets a haircut from his friend (after his father has been doing them his whole life) and his father says, “looks like one of those corner n******.” I think that often kids look up to their parents for approval when they make changes and this reaction from his father would definitely not make Benji feel good, especially after how much he liked it. This treatment isn’t specific to Benji, and is possibly worse for Reggie. He has to go through a whole year of his father calling him “Shithead” instead of his real name which would ruin anyone’s self-esteem.

I think that in the time of the novel, Benji is definitely aware of his father’s moods, but doesn’t really see it as out of the ordinary. He observes his father’s patterns with his liquor cabinet and knows exactly how many drinks until he starts getting angry and how to avoid him when he is in those moods. But, I think that the current writer, Ben, is a lot more aware of how messed up the situation was. He adds in a lot of sarcastic remarks within the narration that made me think this. For example, “8 Most Common Silences in Benji’s House” is a list written by Ben looking back on his life at the time, and it shows that he knows it was messed up. The ending of the chapter “To Prevent Flare-ups”, is a perfect example of Benji knowing how to keep his father content when he is in his mood. Even though the wing Benji just tried tastes terrible, he sucks it up and says that it tastes great. This can also be interpreted as a metaphor for Benji’s family as a whole because on the outside, they look great. They are wealthy, vacation on the beach, have a ton of friends, etc. but in reality on the inside things are really messed up.