Parents

Sag Harbor has been one of my favorite book so far and the last discussion was a nice way to end the year for this class. One of the subplots in the book that really stood out to me was Benji’s relationship with his parents and their relationship with each other. They don’t really come up a lot in the book, but when they do it is in ways that affect Benji.

Almost every time Benji’s father talks to him in the book, he is criticizing something Benji is doing, but usually in an indirect way. I don’t know if these are the only times Ben remembers and are therefore all he writes about or if that is actually their entire relationship. One of the times that stands out is when Benji gets a haircut from his friend (after his father has been doing them his whole life) and his father says, “looks like one of those corner n******.” I think that often kids look up to their parents for approval when they make changes and this reaction from his father would definitely not make Benji feel good, especially after how much he liked it. This treatment isn’t specific to Benji, and is possibly worse for Reggie. He has to go through a whole year of his father calling him “Shithead” instead of his real name which would ruin anyone’s self-esteem.

I think that in the time of the novel, Benji is definitely aware of his father’s moods, but doesn’t really see it as out of the ordinary. He observes his father’s patterns with his liquor cabinet and knows exactly how many drinks until he starts getting angry and how to avoid him when he is in those moods. But, I think that the current writer, Ben, is a lot more aware of how messed up the situation was. He adds in a lot of sarcastic remarks within the narration that made me think this. For example, “8 Most Common Silences in Benji’s House” is a list written by Ben looking back on his life at the time, and it shows that he knows it was messed up. The ending of the chapter “To Prevent Flare-ups”, is a perfect example of Benji knowing how to keep his father content when he is in his mood. Even though the wing Benji just tried tastes terrible, he sucks it up and says that it tastes great. This can also be interpreted as a metaphor for Benji’s family as a whole because on the outside, they look great. They are wealthy, vacation on the beach, have a ton of friends, etc. but in reality on the inside things are really messed up.

Jason's First Kiss

I think that a lot of people often consider their first kiss a milestone in their coming of age, so it is really fitting that one of the last scenes in Black Swan Green includes Jason’s first kiss.

Compared to other books we have read, Jason’s coming of age seems a lot more like the stereotypical one that I think of when thinking about coming of age. He goes to school, gets bullied, has some family struggles, has his first kiss, etc. In Housekeeping, for example, Ruth doesn’t interact with any other kids at all or at least it isn’t focused on in the novel. Esther in the Bell Jar is in school in the beginning of the book, but doesn’t really talk about her experience in depth. Black Swan Green reminds me the most of A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man and Catcher in the Rye because they are all about young boys in school who go through bullying at some point. The first kiss scene, however, is unique to Black Swan Green but goes along with the sexual awakening themes in many coming of ages. The other novel that first comes to mind when thinking of this is when Esther has sex for the first time in The Bell Jar, but that sexual awakening was in a very different context than Jason’s first kiss.

Overall, I thought that it was a really sweet scene. Especially after the pretty rough chapters before with Jason being bullied and stealing the wallet, this scene was a nice way to bring things back to a more positive note. It felt fitting for it to be at the end of the book because Jason had matured a lot and this was a kind of indication of that maturing throughout the year he had.

First Impressions of Sylvie

At this point in the novel, Lily and Nona are trying as hard as they can to find a replacement to take care of the girls so that they can go back to their peaceful life. Even though they don’t think that Sylvie would likely be a good fit, they still try to contact her because they are desperate to leave. I understand that Lily and Nona don’t want to stay, but I also think that they are being kind of insensitive to Ruth and Lucille’s feelings. Their mother just killed herself and their father was already gone, so it would be nice if they could have someone stay with them who cares just for a little bit.

When Sylvie arrives, I think that the girls are desperate for someone who can act like a mother figure and not leave, and even though Sylvie doesn’t exactly seem to fit that description, she is the only chance the girls have. This is why the way they act around her makes sense to me, even though it may be a little bit weird if you don’t understand where they are coming from. Whenever it seems like Sylvie is leaving, the girls follow her and make sure she comes back.

I also always forget that Ruth and Lucille are only around 10 or 12 at this point in the novel, so the fact that they are so dependent on their guardian makes even more sense. When reading the book, I often forgot how young they are because it is written in a way that makes Ruth sound older. I think that it’s a really interesting dynamic between Ruth and Lucille and Sylvie because even though Ruth and Lucille are the children, they act in a lot of ways like the adult while Sylvie often acts like the child. Considering this in a coming of age context, it would definitely cause the girls to grow up or “come of age” faster than they would have to in a normal family because they have to be responsible for worrying about Sylvie when that really shouldn’t be their job at that age. They also haven’t mentioned any friends they have of their own age so far in the book, so their coming of age seems even more isolated and different from others we have read or talked about.

Double Standards

One of the realizations that really affected Esther’s view of the world was when she realized that there was a clear sexual double standard between men and women. Even today, when men perform sexual acts with girls they are often praised but when women do the same, they are called “sluts” or “whores” if they are not married.

Esther first experienced this double standard when Buddy Willard confessed to having slept with another girl, even though he had always acted like the innocent one in the relationship. She describes how his mother really cares about virginity before marriage: “... Mrs. Willard was a real fanatic about virginity for men and women both. When I first went to her house for supper she gave me a queer, shrewd, searching look, and I knew she was trying to tell whether I was a virgin or not” (Plath 71). Buddy later says that he is still friends with his mom, probably because she doesn’t care as much about his virginity than his girlfriends. When Esther realizes this unfairness, she rightfully gets mad and thinks about getting even by sleeping with someone else. I think that this is a really strong decision for Esther to make, because she doesn’t care about what society will think if she has sex, she just wants to do it for the experience.

After this moment in the book, Esther’s view on the world changes and I think that it is part of what made her feel like she was living in a bell jar. If she did what she wanted to do, society would judge her so she felt trapped. Of course, a lot of other things affected her, but I think that this realization was a big deal for Esther and affected her actions throughout the rest of the book.

Holden and Girls

Holden Caulfield objectifies and makes jokes out of many female characters in The Catcher in the Rye, but there are still moments in which he really respects and appreciates women. I think that Holden has the potential to be a feminist if he becomes educated. He naturally wants to respect and listen to women, he has just been dramatically affected by the only environment that he has been in -- an all boys prep school.

The book The Catcher in the Rye as a whole is definitely not feminist. There are no female leads and the only female character close to being depicted as intelligent is Phoebe, Holden’s younger sister. Most of the women are portrayed as weak or dependent -- Jane who goes out with boys who don't care about her personality or the girls at the motel who are dumb enough to think that Holden sees a celebrity. Even though I don’t think the book is necessarily feminist, one could argue that the view through Holden’s eyes has the potential to be. Despite Holden’s environment, he has the natural instinct to treat women respectfully and actually enjoys talking to them intellectually with no expected sexual benefit.

On page 103, Holden describes why he can’t keep going with girls who don’t want to: “The thing is, most of the time when you're coming pretty close to doing it with a girl - a girl that isn't a prostitute or anything, I mean - she keeps telling you to stop. The trouble with me is, I stop. Most guys don’t. I can’t help it.” The fact that this is Holden’s natural response is really promising, considering that he grew up in an all boys boarding school with influences like Stradlater who would hook up with different girls all the time and make no big deal out of it. He also enjoys talking to girls, and does not just use them for sexual pleasure. There are many examples of this including Selma Thurmer, the nuns, and even the prostitute that he paid. This evidence makes me think that if Holden became educated in an environment outside the prep school, he could have the potential to be a feminist character.

Significance of the Bridge

On page 179, Stephen crosses a bridge on his way to the beach. It is a really quick scene and can seem pointless at first glance, but it actually has a lot of significance. At the beginning of the section, Stephen is pacing back and forth between a publichouse and a Chapel, showing that he has not fully made up his mind about leaving the church. He decides to go the the Bull, a seawall that runs into Dublin Bay. On his way, he passes onto a thin and shaky bridge. I think that it is pretty clear that the bridge represents his crossing over into being an artist, but he isn’t completely sure about it and the bridge is still shaky.

To add to his uncertainty, as he is crossing, a group of christian brothers are crossing back the other way towards the church. This makes Stephen deeply ashamed to the point that he can't even look at them: “The uncouth faces passed him two by two… and as he strove to look at them with ease and indifference, a faint stain of personal shame and commiseration fose to his own face. Angry with himself he tried to hide his face…” (Joyce 179). As Stephen is walking one way on the bridge, the christian brothers are walking the other way, confirming the symbolism that Stephen is leaving the church. Joyce is being really obvious and almost over the top with the symbolism in this entire scene, but I think that it definitely works, especially for a character as extreme as Stephen Dedalus. If I had to pick one point in the book as Stephen’s “coming-of-age,” it would probably be this scene because this is the point at which Stephen literally leaves the church and becomes an artist.

What is Coming of Age?

In many cultures, there are specific moments or rituals in one’s life in which one becomes an adult or “comes of age.” For example, there is the well-known Jewish tradition of a Bar or Bat Mitzvah and the South American Quinceanera. I looked up an article describing different coming of age traditions around the world, and there were some very unique ones such as wearing gloves made of stinging ants for ten minutes or jumping over a cow four times naked to prove your strength to become an adult. I found it interesting that the majority of these traditions that I read about were for boys becoming men, and the source I used did not even mention if there was a similar tradition for girls in many cases. This honestly does not surprise me considering the historical sexism that most of these cultures face, but it was still interesting to see in the different traditions.

Unlike some countries, the United States doesn’t have a specific coming-of-age ceremony. For some people, it may be a sweet 16 party, or it may be just going through puberty. In the US, there are specific ages associated with the law in which you are expected to be mature enough to handle different things that adults can do. For example, you are deemed mature enough to drive a car at 16, make your own decisions at 18, and drink alcohol at 21.

For me personally, there hasn’t been a specific moment in my life where I consider myself coming of age, and it probably hasn’t even happened yet. I do think that when I got my driver’s license, I felt a lot more mature because I started making my own schedule and not relying on my parents to take me places. I don’t necessarily consider this my coming of age, but I definitely grew a lot. I think that for me and for a lot of people, it takes many experiences in life to “come of age,” not one big ritual. And even so, you may never be able to describe the exact experiences that shaped you, as you are constantly growing up and maturing throughout your entire life.

source: https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/13-amazing-coming-of-age-traditions-from-around-th/